i'm still in love with you [colt]

[aerostarr »-♥->]

Amy walked up the steps, stitches in her head, but those not nearly as apparent as the bloodshot eyes that showed she'd been crying for a long time. She was fully intent on apologizing to Colt, telling him she still loved him. Telling him everything.

She knocked on the door, hoping he'd come. She wouldn't blame him if he didn't. What had she done, not even trying to tell him before she left? Sure, Josh had threatened to kill her if she tried to talk to anyone, but she could have tried. What had happened to the girl who'd risk her life for him? Perhaps she'd never see her again...

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[.:x:.A.rtemis.:x:.]

Silence reined supreme in the small, flithy apartment building. Only the light tossing and turning and small, despair filled moans drowned out the ominous silence. The strained breathes barely made any noise at all.

The striped patterns from the plain blinds threw the late morning sunlight across Colt's bare, sweating chest, showing clearly the straining of his well-developed muscles as he battled with an enemy that he would never be able to beat. Sleep was rare for him now. Since his young sisters death, terror filled nightmares took up his rest, sapping energy and life from him more quickly than any demon ever could.

It wouldn't matter when he awoke though, he could never remember those dreams, he would only remember the sense of helplessness, and terror. He would never know what was actually happening. But, even though he wished to know what these dreams were of, he knew that it was best that he forgot them without ever knowing. Forgetting was the only way he stayed sane enough to keep living. For a long time the vicious bite of scotch and whiskey was the only way he could survive, but, now, not even that could still his mind and memories.

Suddenly, the pounding on the door released him from the icy claws of horror, and, for the space of a breath, he was blessedly free of remembering anything, good or bad. Then, with his first waking breath, memories crashed in on his like a giant tidal wave, drowning him in his sorrows. It was how he awoke ever morning, in a rushing wave of grief.

It took a moment for him to catch his breath, but, even then, the sweat didn't stop rolling from his body. Distantly, he remembered the mindless fever he had fallen into the night before. Galloping around in the soaking rain the night before had finally took it's toll. He had stumbled into his house after taking care of the mare and colt and had passed out. He remembered feeling as if his head was going to explode, and he also remembered the chills that shook his body hours later. He had awoken a few hours ago, long enough to slip out of his soaking clothes and into his bed. He then fell into a daze and soon was in a fitful sleep, nightmares and fever fighting a vicious battle for possession of his body.

Luckily for him, the nightmares had finally won out. His fever was still high, as the aches and chills of his body told him, but it was no where near were it had been the previous night. Now, he felt as if he would be able to answer the door at least.

Frowning, he gripped his head, slowly pushing the mental and physical pain away from him, leaving himself feeling blessedly numb. Then, rising, he stumbled about the room, trying to orient himself and focus his eyes. The bright light only added to the pounding of his head, but he pushed the pain away along with everything else.

Finally, he found a pair of dry jeans and slipped them on, then stumbled towards the door, not caring that he was only half dressed and hadn't shaved for a few days. He didn't bother trying to fix his disheveled hair either. Clearing his throat, he reached the door, ignoring the pain that twisted through his throat as it changed to a cough.

His hand gripped the doorknob and he opened the door, clenching his eyes shut and grimacing at the sunlight that blinded him. He leaned heavily on the doorjamb as dizziness overcame him and the world began to swirl away in a black, rainbow flecked cloud of unconciousness. Just as suddenly his senses began to clear as he clutched his eyes shut against the tormenting rays of light.

Memories of the wreck his apartment was in forced him to pull the door to. He hoped the guest hadn't seen the piles of dirty laundry and stacks of unfinished paperwork. It was as if all organization, cleanliness, and pride had left him along with Novalle.

Soon, the pounding in his head faded and he opened his eyes to the early afternoon, his silver eyes trying to focus on the delicate face before him. Suddenly, breath left him harshly, leaving him feeling as if he had been kicked in the stomach. Hard. Frowning at his own nervousness and anger, Colt watched Amy distantly. He was far away for a moment, in a different time, a different place. Then, just as quickly as he left, he was back to himself, remembering the pain that had overcame him with her absence.

Clearing his throat a few more times, Colt forced the words past his sore throat. What do you want? The words came out in a husky shadow of his usual voice. Though he tried to hide the fever it was impossible to hide the sweat that rolled off his thickly muscled body and the dryness of his throat. Yet, despite his sickness, his eyes were steady on her face. Not a trace of their former blue hung in them, they were completely silver and as cold as ice.

[aerostarr »-♥->]

It broke her heart to see him like that. Her blue eyes filled with sympathy along with the tears as she looked him over. He was trying so hard just to stay alive, to make it through all the things life had thrown at him. 'I...I wanted to help you.' She stuttered in a whisper, but she knew he heard it. 'And tell you why I had to leave...' She murmered. She did see the dirty apartment behind her, but she didn't care how it looked. She wanted to help him. 'Colt, baby, you need to see a doctor...' She murmered, seeing his glassy eyes look back at her. She approached cautiously to stand closer to him. Silence. She took a deep breath, knowing he might not believe her, but also knowing in a deeper sense that she had to tell him if she ever wanted him to even remotely like her again.

'Do you remember Josh?' She murmered, knowing he would. 'He came one night while Ashley and Tex were out. He broke in. The house is still a wreck, I still haven't had time to go back and fix it up...' She said, beginning to choke up, remembering all the things she'd been put through and knowing Colt's troubles were probably still worse. 'He... he raped me, and he... threw me into his car and drove me to his house I guess... He told me not to tell anyone, not to call anyone when he left for the day - to go to work I guess, and when he came back, we drove... I don't know where to, we just drove...' She said, tears beginning to run down her face. 'I don't know how long we stayed there, or how the h.ell I survived, but one night Josh left his car and didn't come back. The police had caught him, and he's in jail now... They told me I could go back home if I wanted to...' She said, sobbing through her story. 'And of course I wanted to go back, baby, because I still love you... I love you, Colt. So much...' She cried. The girl was begging for him to take her back. She could have been down on her knees and it wouldn't have made much difference the way she was looking at him, eyes pleading for forgiveness. 'I want it to be like it was before...' She said, looking down at the cement porch, unable to look him in the face, still childishly wiping away her tears as they came.

OOC Sorry, I've been busy on my other game, Surfside Equine. =]]

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[.:x:.A.rtemis.:x:.]

White, hot rage filled Colt as he thought of the small, weasley creature that had tormented Amy before when they were dating. Hatred pulsed through his veins along with the red blood cells and fever. Somewhere, on the verge of fever, doubt blossomed in his quick mind. Josh, the coward, wasn't capable of forcing anyone to do anything. He was too weak, he was too immature. Suddenly, the rage faded into ragged laughter and dizziness. Colt couldn't believe it. She was lying to him! After everything, she told a wild tale to him and said that she loved him. The laughter was so painful, too painful, and it took everything in him to keep it laughter and not let it dissolve into broken sobs. He had loved her, maybe he still did, but he had never loved her dramatics.

Weariness overcame him quickly as he thought of all that had once been and never would be again. You never could lie worth a d**n, Baby. His voice was raspy and calm as he turned away, but the turmoil showed clearly in his eyes. She had left him, decided when she wanted him back she'd whimper a few words in his ear, gain his sympathy and have him falling all over her emotional "wounds", waiting for a chance to do everything for her. Well, she would be sorely disappointed to learn that he wasn't as stupid as he had once been. Unlike some other fools, Colt learned from his mistakes and he had made a lot of mistakes in the past three years. He stumbled into the kitchen and grabbed a glass of water, forcing work upon his trembling hands.

He didn't know what to say to her. He did still love her, but he wasn't sure that he would ever get past all the pain that she had caused him. She always expected him to just obey or give in, and he wasn't sure he could do it anymore. He had thrown away his dignity and pride plenty in the past, but he didn't think he was capable of doing it anymore. There had to be a line somewhere, a line between men and boys. The line was fine, and he stood, toeing it uncertainly. Could he take her back, or, rather, give himself back to her? He didn't know. He gulped the glass of water quickly, and refilled it, fighting against allowing his hands to crush the glass.

[silverdreams]

Kates truck rattled as it pulled into the parking spot, sqeaking slightly as it rolled to a stop. She got out the car, oblivious to the two standing on the porch, she walked to the other side of the truck and opened the door, pulling out a hot pan with soup in it, with oven gloves on her hands. Only when she began up the steps did she realize that she might be interupting something. She blushed slightly as she walked into the awkward silence, " Oh, sorry to interupt " she said looking from one to the other " Colt, i just brought you some soup, because i figure you were sick. How's the shoulder? She got you pretty good yesterday " she asked, a bit of concern on her face.

Apparently Kate had lost her manners somewhere upon getting here, it hadnt even fallen upon her mind to introduce herself to other girl that stood on Colt's front doorstep. Suddenly it hit her and she looked at her " Sorry, im Kate " she said with a sheepish smile, taking note on how upset the girl looked. She decided not to comment on it, because it was probably none of her business.

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[aerostarr »-♥->]

Anything whole in Amy's eyes shattered as he spoke. 'Colt, don't you dare say that!' She screamed, finally losing control. She knew she was doing exactly what he wanted her to do. He wanted to see her hurt, he wanted her to feel the pain she knew he had felt when she left him. The pain he was feeling now. And she hated to give in like that, but she knew there was no other way. 'If you don't know by now that I love you more than you even love yourself, you'll never understand anything.' She followed him, nails clenching into her palms, bloody cuts springing up from her skin. It was nothing compared to the hole ripped through her chest at the moment.

She didn't hear the truck tires. Didn't feel the fear upon her back as trouble intruded on their fight. Didn't notice the breath of another, another that cared about Colt as much as she did. 'Oh, sorry to interrupt.' She said. Normally, Amy would have been fine with the girl coming in. She would have put on a fake smile which quickly would have turned genuine, and would have forgotten her completely charging into his house. But not today. Not right now. Not when she was trying to be around Colt, the man she still loved. She wanted to scream at her. She wanted to pull her nails from her hands and rip them into the girl's innocently pretty face. She wanted to kick her to the ground, and impale her tiny frame with her high-heeled boots. So she bit her tongue and glared. Glared with all the hatred in the world radiating from her pupils, flickering from her eyes like fire toward the girl. She whipped back around toward Colt, the hatred gone in a split second, hurt replacing the space, feeling empty, doing nothing to fill the place he'd left. The place she knew only he could fill. 'Colt... Is that it... Did you... did you find somebody n..n..new?' She said, tears beginning to stream down her face. Her knees shook, her world spun around her, her eyes beseeching him, her heart pounding. She crumpled and collapsed, falling to the floor, still sobbing as her world spun faster and faster, turning first purple, then green, orange, red, yellow, blue. Black. Black as night. Unconcious and broken on the floor.

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[silverdreams]

Kates eyes widened in shock as the girl glared evily at her, she had never even met the girl before and she was being so rude to her. Maybe she shouldnt of walked in on their conversation but all Kate was trying to be was nice and this other girl just blew her off. She looked to Colt and by instict followed them both into the house. Which surprisingly (i love sarcasm) was just as clean as the office she was being payed to clean up. Her eyes widened as she heard the other girls words.

She was flabbergasted and could hardly form words, she had never once though of Colt in that way. Sure she thought he was attractive, but just from the way he reacted and processed things she could tell that he had been hurt bad in his past and now she was finally realizing who had hurt him. " What?, are you joking?...he is my boss for gods sake " she said as she watched the girl fall to the ground, realizing she was an expert at melodramatics. She shot a glance to Colt, her eyes questioning him as if to ask " Is this girl really serious? "